Monday, September 7, 2015

School.

As a college student you are supposed to have a well-rounded life. You need to be making good grades, meeting friends, having fun, and partying. These are supposed to be the best years of your life, but for me they are different.

I go to a community college. My heart was set in high school to go to a specific college in my state that is for Liberal Arts. But, was talked out of that dream by my now ex-stepdad. He said that it would be too much money. I wouldn't ever find a job, at that time I wanted to go into film and journalism. I was made to believe that I wouldn't make it.

So, I thought that my only option ever was community college. Not saying that community colleges are bad, because I have always paid my way myself through my classes, they are cheaper than most colleges and can have really good teachers. So, I never had thought about applying for scholarships to other schools because my life was "mapped out".

I haven't made any "real" friends, I have barely even made aquaintances in my classes. This is my second almost third year there. Technically I am supposed to be a junior compared with my counterparts. Because of having to work and go to school, I am behind most of my peers. I have had to take less classes in order to maintain work hours and my sanity, which is diminishing now because of anxiety, stress, and depression creeping back up.

I should be transferring to a local university this coming summer or fall of 2016, then I will be able to really start working on classes for my major. My major is Elementary Education.

(Wow, I am really rusty on my writing.) <<<<inner thought>>>>

I'm not sure if I really want to stay in this major, but I have already started a couple classes so I have to.



Sunday, April 27, 2014

Hell

She was dark
surrounded by smog
every time she tried to get out she was swallowed whole
 she sees the bright light but it grows dimmer everyday
birds mock her she tries to run away but they eat her alive
 she is bemused by life. is this what she wants?
 she wants more to life more to conquer and be the conquerer of her fears.
addiction of harm encumbers her mind she is low needing a release in which she can't find
stop stop she must stop herself
 her inner demons want to take her she must stay strong she must
 the light gets hazier and she gets dizzier falling into herself vastly unknown she has lost herself
 lost herself lost herself lost herself
 what happened why is she throwing away everything she has worked for
 Heaven help her!
Please just help her!
She's throwing herself away spitting herself out she can't stop!

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Cleaning

Cleaning, Cleaning
O! How I loathe thee;
You make me seasick
with all your waves of laundry.
I try to clean as fast as I can
But you tire me out as fast as you can.
Why, oh why must you exist!
You make me want to raise my fist!
And I'm doing damage to you
While you sit there and spew
I want to check you off my list
So I can do what I want to do
Without you!
Cleaning, Cleaning
O! How I loathe thee!

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

It's cold!

It's so cold and blustery outside today! As I drove past the dead trees and old cemeteries, I couldn't help to think Man, this would be a great day for photography. I always say this to myself, but seldom can find the time to even do it. Either, A) I'm lazy, B) I do other creative things, or C) It's to darn cold outside!

I need to start making the time to do these photography opportunities, because pretty soon this season will be over. I need a decent camera though but the one that I want is $300.00, with no equipment! But, hey, a cheapo film camera from Wal-Mart is better than nothing!

I collect old cameras, the oldest dating back to the 1940s. I have a 1963, I believe, landscaping camera. When I get my own place I'm going to have a bookshelf dedicated to vintage cameras. I've found most of them at thrift stores and just couldn't pass them up!

I also want a whole room dedicated to just books. The bookcases will be mounted on the wall and stretch all the way up to the ceiling, with a rolling ladder too, like the one in Beauty and the Beast. Right now, I'm reading Oliver Twist at the moment. I have been reading this book since before Christmas! It's time to get on it! I'm going to give myself an end date to finish this book.

Joining multiple clubs at college soon! I'm not sure why I just put that, maybe because I'm on a rant about books, which brings to my attention that I am joining the Book Club that's why.(:

Sadie signing off!!(:

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

I haven't been on here for awhile, but I'm going to start back up like I never stopped. Recently, I have been working on short stories, and am in the process of writing a children's book. I have very strange ideas that float across my mind. Either they are extremely weird and abnormal, or dark and Tim Burton-esque. So I have decided to just go with any idea I come up with. It can be multiple ideas that I combine together to achieve a story.

 Sometimes, like most writer's, there comes a writer's block as they say. I have had my fair share of those lately, but my muse is finally starting to come back! Today I was in the car and had to take out my phone, at a red light of course, and record a thought came into my head for a story. I have been having random spurts of ideas that come into my head at different times of the day. Sometimes I wake up in my sleep with a quote I come up with, I don't know how in my sleep, but I have to wake up and jot it down before it gets lost. I keep a journal and pencil/pen right beside my bed so that if the creative occasion arrives I will be ready.

I love to write! I should do this more often! I also made a quick stop motion film with my best friend Austin. He and I did a collaboration together. I don't have really any adequate equipment to do filming and lighting, granted I do have a video camera that needs new tape. Austin and I painted a rad scene on cardboard that told the story of a skater and his adventures. Watch here: ( https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=777454452271791&l=3225210644287410217 .)We used Austin's camera to take the stop-motion pictures as I positioned the skater for each shot. We had a lot of fun, and I actually inspired him to make his own stop-motion project.

 I am looking forward to writing more and progressing on my children's story. I plan to make more film projects and will keep you all updated on that. I will also include links to my films on YouTube so you can watch it, if you wish.

Sadie signing off!(:

Thursday, March 29, 2012